Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
