perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My vagina is officially offended.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
