smell my finger.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
