Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
