I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
