I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
