it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
