he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
