He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
