so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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