Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
