So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
