I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
