I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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