yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
