My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
