I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
