Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
