Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
