No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
