So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
