Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
