im gay
i know
yea but for you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
