I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
