dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
