If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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