TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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