He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
