I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
