I'm going to jail i love you
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
