I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
