It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
