I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
