I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
where does the pee come out of this thing
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
