I'm going to jail i love you
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
