I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think my moral compass just broke
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
