One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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