...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
