You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
