Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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