so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
