New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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