is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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