The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
