Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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