Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
