Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
