Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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