my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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