I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
