The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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