Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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